When the War Is Over

If you are a mom or dad, you know how wonderful it feels to hold your child after a long day at work. For the longest time, I didn't pick my daughter up because of my back pain. Now granted, she is 6 years old and probably shouldn't be carried any longer, but she was 4 when my back pain started. I've recently decided that I'm going to pick her up from time to time because she is only going to be this little once. She is only going to want me to hold her for a short while longer and I'm not giving this up. Pain or no pain, there are many things I've decided not to give up.If I waited until I was well to do the things I want to do, I wouldn't do much.

I had thought about doing the Susan G. Komen 3 Day Walk for the Cure before all of my back stuff started. I decided against it because 60 miles in 3 days just sounded too ambitious. Last year, two of my close friends did the 3 day. I was so excited for them. When they left for Chicago that weekend, I had this sense that I was being left behind even though that wasn't rational. I wanted to be there with them. I wanted to support this great cause that wants to help women like my mom, a two time breast cancer survivor. I could wait until my back is well before I sign up to do the 3 day, but then I may never do it. If back pain is my new reality, I have to keep doing the things that I want to do no matter what. I truly feel honored and overjoyed that I will get to be a part of the 3 day in Chicago this summer.

What else have I been waiting to do until my back got well? Picking up my daughter and being a part of the 3 day are only two examples of the things I've avoided in the hopes that one day this magic bullet will come along and relieve my pain. When the war is over, I'd go home. Well, the war goes on and I'm not going to stop living because of it. I refuse! I may have to accept being in pain long term, but I don't have to accept living a life without risk and adventure. Things that I want to do might be harder because of the pain, but NOT impossible. I see that now - yet another blessing that has come from my pain.