Keeping It Real

I am really NOT in the mood to be positive and cheery today. I'm in the mood to be totally honest. I'm definitely struggling with the back pain. The pain has been a little worse lately, but that is normal for me. The intensity changes all the time. One week it is very manageable and the next I want to scream. And on top of being in more pain lately, I just haven't been able to muster up the energy to grin and bear it. There is a time and a season for everything, right? Well, this must be the season for feeling low and blue.

I called my mom today just to hear the voice of the one person who I've always wanted near when I don't feel well. No one cares like mom, right? Husbands care. Friends care, but mom would set herself on fire for you if it meant she could 'make it all better.' I am lucky to have that kind of mom. I did feel better after talking to her, but I'm still low and I have to force myself to see that feeling what I feel is acceptable and normal.

I can't always be Mrs. Positive Driven Enthusiastic Melissa. Sometimes I need to lay low, pull into my shell and feel what I feel. You can't rush through the emotions and thoughts you are having. Well, I guess you can, but that isn't being kind to yourself. My body is going through too much for me to put it through the stress of stuffing my feelings too. If you are reading this, I ask for your prayers. I accept and believe that I need them. I believe God could work through you to bring me the miracle I need.