Life is really good, but scary sometimes too. Katelyn starts Kindergarten this week. I think I'm more nervous than she is, but I wouldn't know with much certainty. She tends to take after her Daddy and not talk about her worries very much. I think change is good, but I've never done very well with it. Even when it is good change, it makes me nervous. My daughter is growing up and that's exactly what we all want as parents, but it is also the beginning of the long goodbye. It seems like just yesterday I was crying as I took her crib apart and then she was off to preschool and now real school.
I've heard many times that our relationship with change is our relationship with life because life is constant change. Over time, I've gotten better with the change. When I was young, I used to wake my mom up and tell her, "Wake up! I can't sleep. I'm worried!" This usually took place the night before something big like the start of school, etc. Since that time, I've grown enough emotionally and spiritually so that change at least doesn't keep me up at night. Not like Jeff would stay awake and talk about my feelings until 4 a.m. like mom always did (LOL).
A lot of what I've dealt with when it comes to my back pain involves change and acceptance of a new way of life. My days are different now because of a change that happened virtually overnight. I woke up in pain one cold morning at the beginning of a new year in 2009. Things have never been the same since then and I resisted that full force for a long time. Acceptance of my back situation has brought a lot more peace and inner strength to my life. My relationship with my chronic pain situation is my relationship to life? If that's the case, I've grown a lot since those late nights sneaking into my mom's room for comfort (LOL).
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