Believe it or not, my back pain has made me a better person. I've grown in my faith, become stronger and more empathetic to other people facing challenges. I feel like I've gotten the lesson - slow down, enjoy your life and be grateful for the little things. Got it! Now, I want to move on, but it is just not working out that way.
For anyone who has tried alternative medical treatments for pain especially for the first time, you understand the nervousness and the struggle to remain open minded. . . oh, and keep your wallet open too because it is VERY expensive. On my first visit to a chiropractor, I had to cough up $3,000. After 4 acupuncture treatments, I was told it would cost over $4,000 to become pain free again. They get you in a little room and tell you, "don't you want to be able to have fun with your daughter again?, pick her up?, etc." Of course, I do! But, I don't need a guilt trip when I'm already in pain. It almost seems like they are taking advantage of a really vulnerable group, people like me who would do almost anything to have their pain free lives back.
Finding meaning in my pain is an ongoing struggle, to keep learning from what seems like the worst thing that has ever happened to me. Finding meaning in the mornings when I wake up figuring out what I'll need to do to function at work and in my life. Finding meaning in not being able to ride a bike with my daughter. Finding meaning in knowing that I'll really hurt if I clean my house. I continue to know that my pain is making me a stronger, better person, but I still want my life back . . .
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